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| This is my promise to you.
I am going to do everything I can to keep you safe from him and yourself.
even if it means that you will hate me.
I don't give a fuck. I am going to save you even if it means you will never speak to me again.
as long as you are safe, that's all I care about.
if that is what will happen, I am prepared for God is in control.
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| I see a generation that will one day bow down upon realizing the
infinite glory of God's presence. I see the grassy hills where the sun
shines endlessly over those who love and worship Him and Him only. I
see a generation that will not take His Grace for granted. I see empty,
charred cups that are filled with our own sweat and blood but not of
His. I see them breaking and then becoming anew and cleaned out so that
they glisten and shine like nothing else. I see cups flow over with
water that fills us and makes us whole.
I
see people stuck in their own shit and mire that needs a generation to
stop being lukewarm about their devotion to the King of Kings and to go
out there and spread His Kingdom. Do you not see what I see? Amidst the
murky water, underneath the surface is liquid that is pure and clean
made whole by the blood of the Lamb. For all of us. for the generation
that has been consumed for so long and impacted so negatively by the
World. Listening to the deceitful lies that are hissed in their ears
each and every day. for the ones that do not actually fully see His
Grace and Glory but believe there is a God somewhere.
I say
this because I feel such agony and my heart wrenched in two whenever I
speak with my friends who do not fully realize the extent of how much
they have consumed of this world. I cry silently inside for the Prince
of Peace also weeps over the demise of humanity who scorn and tear each
other apart for what is evil. I know. our generation can do great
things in Him. I can feel and taste it. But how can we when we are all
lukewarm. When we are stuck in our own sweat and dirt and not actually
seeking Him every second of every day.
We must pray. Pray for
those who have fallen away because fear and deceit binds them. We must
pray. Pray for those who cannot see the Goodness behind their struggles
and walk in the Darkness. We must pray. Pray for people outside ranging
from the homeless on the streets to those in other nations where
freedom of speech has been eradicated, and especially being able to
proclaim the True God. We must pray for this generation. For God's
Glory and Kingdom needs to be furthered.
You must Hunger. You
must Thirst. You must Ask for such a Longing, and just asking is
Enough. It's Enough to ask for you will receive. | | |
| Extremely old song.
Cry in My Heart//Starfield
There's a cry in my heart
For Your Glory to Fall
For your presence to fill up my senses
Theres a yearning again
A Thirst for Discipline
A hunger for things that are deeper
Could you take me beyond
Could you carry me through
If I opened my heart
Could I go there with you
For I've been here before
Yet I know there's still more
Oh Lord, I need to know you
For what do I have
If I don't have you Jesus
What in this life
Could mean anymore
You are my rock
You are my Glory
You are the lifter of my head
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Yesterday, I could not feel this.
Today I'm sick of trying
to live like I can live on my own.
This world around me is suffocating.
I keep forgetting to turn and run to you
So find me wherever I am.
Won't you find me?
I've got myself lost,
and I don't think I want to
be roaming in heartache.
Please find me tonight.
I make it hard,
and I cant stand it,
can't drag my head around it.
I wrestle with you more than I should.
I've made a mess of everything,
but you see the best in me.
I'll never be too far gone.
So find me wherever I am.
Won't you find me?
I've got myself lost,
and I don't think I want to
be roaming in heartache.
Please find me tonight.
You speak without sound.
Your love is so loud.
You always save me.
So find me,
I don't want to be roaming
----
Still debating on my tattoo. | | |
|
So I've been pretty tired.
I've had to get up around five every morning to get to oakland by seven.
And input data or organize binders until around three or four.
I, personally, would rather organize binders and get paper cuts than stare endlessley at a computer screen.
Which is.. what I am doing right now.
------
I'm not sure what to say about my past first. freshman year in college.
Being
at college, especially at Biola has made my stagnant relationship with
God definitely grow. This past semester, I've been through so much fear,doubting,lack of
faith, and having to rely on Him as the One who completes me. The One
who has the Authority and Glory and Power in my Life to Heal, to
shatter Darkness.
Although I feel like I have achieved a whole
new level of spiritual discernment, I still find God so hard to rely
on. I find God so easy to forget even when I am battling. I battled out
of arrogance, I battled out of fear, I battled for myself and not for
His Kingdom so many times. [Maybe I should put the word battle in
present tense also].You would think having to deal with stuff so
seemingly real and so actual. I would believe so much more in the Power
and Grace. But I don't.I'm still weak, I'm still lost, It takes me
forever to believe that God can do anything and everything.
The
funny thing is, all the situations that have happened to me, I am
probably one of the more skeptical when situations arise that involve
things around this arena. I usually try to stay away from them. I don't
like automatically assuming everything and everyone could have the
"potential problem". I guess as Sandeep would say, I make it so
matter-of-fact, and not really a big deal.
Because in a way, it is. but it also isn't.
I
was discussing this with the professor, well,not really discussing
considering he just flooded a bit of information about the whole
subject to me. He said in the past, it was a constant, and actually
quite regular thing to do in the church. Pray diligently for this
certain thing everyday. Everyone did it. as a discipline. Just like how
we still say thanks before every meal. Funny how nowadays, this aspect
goes unchecked and at times filled with disbelief and not knowing what
to do. Things sure change quickly.
I just feel like, this
subject and situations at hand shouldn't be overlooked, but at the same
time; too much probing and over-analyzing such things the wrong way
could bring glory not to God but to Satan. Besides, I like checking the
Bible for a good foundation still. Not just going off on my own and
spouting verses off out of context. I just hate it when people start
spouting off things like spiritual throw-up. seriously. what the crap.
It's been a while since I posted, I thought I would make a not-so-vague post. but then again, I guess it would seem vague. I'm not sure what you guys think. haha
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